week 52.

In my dream, the angel shrugged & said, If we fail this time, it will be a failure of imagination & then she placed the world gently in the palm of my hand.

katie (left)

mary (right)

week 51.

She said she usually cried at least once each day not because she was sad, but because the world was so beautiful & life was so short.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 50.

Every morning I try & remember to be alive, he said, & then I count the hours until I get to go to sleep again. It makes for a certain creative tension, he added.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 49.

Today's Mental Checklist 1. Things I know for sure - quite a few 2. Things I don't know for sure - quite a few more 3. Things I'll discover I don't know as I go along (only a rough estimate) - about as much as things I currently don't know 4. Things I tell my children that I don't believe myself - lots, but now they're older I tell them I'm making it up & they can believe it at their own risk 5. things that make sense if you stop to think about it a. in daylight - lot unless there's media or government involved b. late at night - almost nothing, so it's better to just go back to sleep 6. Things I believe that people a thousand years ago believed, too - quite a few but I lived in L.A. when I was younger, so I have a good excuse

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 48.

I don't know how long I can do this, he said. I think the universe has different plans for me & we sat there in silence & I thought to myself that this is the thing we all come to & this is the thing we all fight & if we are lucky enough to lose, our lives become beautiful with mystery again & I sat there silent because that is not something that can be said.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 47.

over the years, she filled herself with the best the world could offer, but she still kept a little place open for frozen peas

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 46.

I try to use unconditional love in small amounts, she said, so people really appreciate it. The rest of the time I just try not to yell.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 45.

had a long night last night on the other side of the world so he's having a hard time this morning letting his light shine

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 44.

doesn't usually advise eating chocolate for breakfast unless you're absolutely convinced that's the kind of advice you need

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 43.

Why is the world so confusing? he said & I said it's only confusing if you believe it has to make sense & he looked at me & shook his head. I can't believe they let just anyone have children, he said.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 42.

We lay there & looked up at the night sky & she told me about stars called blue squares & red swirls & I told her I'd never heard of them. Of course not, she said, the really important stuff they never tell you. You have to imagine it on your own.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 41.

you don't really notice how much of this stuff has sharp edges until it gets dark

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 40.

She kept asking if the stories were true. I kept asking her if it mattered. We finally gave up. She was looking for a place to stand & I wanted a place to fly

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 39.

everybody's dancing in place because they don't want to mess up the house since it just got cleaned

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 38.

I promise you not a moment will be lost as long as I have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 37.

convinced the thing that separates us from the animals is high heels

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 36.

My grandmother kept a box of old photos in her attic & we used to go up there on rainy days & sit on the floor in the dusty light & go through them & she would tell about witches & broken hearts & how we came from royal blood & it was all there in the pictures, she said & then we'd lose the light & we'd all go downstairs for dinner & in our secret hearts we sat taller knowing once we had ruled the world.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 35.

doesn't mind carrying a few choice pieces of baggage so she has a conversation starter in almost any social situation

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 34.

this is a machine that takes your life & does all the hard parts & leaves you all the parts you enjoy & almost everyone discovers they're not the parts you'd think they were at first glance

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 33.

this is a picture of the future & you'll notice that there's a lot of blank space because people haven't made up their minds about it & the future doesn't have a lot of time for that kind of indecisiveness

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 32.

Whenever I go on a trip, I think about all the homes I've had & I remember how little has changed about what comforts me.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 31.

Her hair's on fire in the hot sun & there's no other sound in her head other than its slow, soft burning

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 30.

It is not what you think, this reaching across the generations. There is no effort of will, no fierce glare in the face of the sideways dance of everyday. There is only the quiet house each morning, filled with soft breathing while you hold your tea in the cool air & always that moment when your love spreads a cloth upon the table & invites the whole day in again

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 29.

only lies down at night because you've got to do something while you're waiting for the new day

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 28.

One summer we visited my grandparents, I remember we went to a dance in the country. The band was loud & enthusiastic & there were so many people my glasses got steamed up. After a while, the band stopped for a drink & my ears were still ringing & I looked up & there were strings of white lights scattered like stars all over the ceiling & I wondered if it was this bright out in space where there were no people & then the band started playing another polka & the quiet slipped out to the front porch with all the other old guys.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 27.

How do you start a religion? he said. I think you have faith & then you wait for a miracle, I said. At least that's how it's been done before. He nodded. OK, he said, so it's a lot like e-commerce.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 26.

I held out my hands & asked where I could help & somebody grabbed me & pointed me towards the future & said, You've got your work cut out for you & I said, isn't there anything easier? & he laughed & said you could dig around in the past, but it's just busywork & that made perfect sense so I shrugged & started right where I was, along with everyone else.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 25.

I don't mind waiting for a little while, he said, if I get a treat in the end. What do you think is a treat? I said. Not having to wait too long, he said & I had to give him points for honesty.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 24.

I'm at that point in the day where I'm tired of myself, she said, so if you don't mind, I'm going to be someone else until bedtime & we had a lovely time together, my new friend & I.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 23.

It's a very fragile world, she told us, so walk carefully everywhere you go & we promised to remember for as long as we could.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 22.

I asked her why she never told us about the Ten Commandments & she said she wasn't ever that good with numbers so she loved everything as best she could & I remember thinking who needs all those rules anyway with a mother like her around.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 21.

He told me one time he forgot himself & his heart opened up like a door with a loose latch & he tried for days to put it all back in proper order but finally he gave up & left it all jumbled up there in a pile & loved everything equally.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 20.

This is where I keep things I agreed to do before I found out how difficult they would be.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 19.

This is a sideways ladder because she likes to feel she's making progress, but she's afraid of heights.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 18.

Sometimes the only thing to do is to start looking at everything again until you forget what you're supposed to see & actually see what's there.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 17.

There are angels everywhere you can imagine. I saw one hiding in the closet in our bedroom once & I invited her out, but she said she was wating for a friend thank you just the same & next time I looked she was gone.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 16.

This is a tree on fire with love, but it's still scary since most people think love only looks like one thing instead of the whole world.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 15.

I'd like to think that things are getting better, he said, but my eyes are getting worse, so maybe I miss a lot.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 14.

This is the wind what blows, he said, & it lives in a jar by my bed & his eyes were big with the knowing of all that.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 13.

If I ran the world, he told me, I'd pretty much leave it alone & spend my time reading & I'd advise other people to do the same. Which is why I'll probably never run the world, he said.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 12.

When we visited my grandma in the summer, we'd sit on the porch & watch the moon every night to be sure it made it safely home. My grandma said we should say prayers that it find fulfilling work during the day. It's not like there's a lot of jobs out there for a moon, she said. She had been through the Depression & thought about a lot of things like that.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 11.

Waiting for the pen to dry up so he can start fresh with thoughts that are worth new ink.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 10.

These are little packets of light & you need to plant them early in the year & remember to mark where they were because lots of times they look like weeds in the beginning & it's not until later that you see how beautiful they really are.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 9.

This holds all the stuff you haven't been listening to & when the top comes off, it all starts to talk at once & it makes you glad you have a day job so you can get away for part of the time.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 8.

There came a moment in the middle of the song when she suddenly felt every heartbeat in the room & after that she never forgot she was part of something much bigger.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 7.

This holds the heat from the fires & feeds the flowers through the long winter.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 6.

If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can. & there is nothing more to it than that.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 5.

We're already in the new age, she said. What does that mean? I said. It means we can stop waiting & start living, she said but after she left, I still waited a little while more just to be safe.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 4.

My great-grandmother sent us out to pick raspberries in her garden while she watched the first moon walk on TV. You'll have plenty of time to see things like that, she said, but those raspberries were carried overland by your great-great-grandfather. She was very wise. I see pictures of the moon walk all the time, but all I have left from him is the memory of those sun-warmed raspberries.

katie (left)
mary (right)

week 3.

ready to ride as soon as they decide whether they want to go in the direction they're all facing or whether that'd be too easy

katie (left)
mary (right)